Politics is more dangerous than HIV, Cancer, more dangerous than any most awful Ebola in the world. It strikes not just the body, it strikes the soul and deprives all of humanity, is man to obtain a fraction of power as white and fluffy citizen, he turns into a monster ready to eat anyone who gets in the way, literally and figuratively…
We sit in the gazebo one of the country houses. The evening had just begun, so we are still sober and are quite unintelligible conversation.
– Dim, and what now? asks sat.
– Like what? I go on the list, so I will choose the sure thing – drink a glass of Dmitry.
Dmitry son of a very authoritative person, whose dad was sent to be elected to the Duma. The father had a very stormy youth and maturity, so squeeze in a chair of the Deputy with three convictions, even when his money was just unreal, but to put his son there was a chance.
And, I will take the assistants? “asked Casanova – I and the law has a new idea.
– Even afraid to think what – I smiled and took the piece of skewer of shish kebab.
– Laughing at nothing! Important law, and necessary for our country. I’m here over him every night I think.
– You have not kept yourself quite…- I said – think of All the people, and it would be better thought how long do I have to give.
Yeah, well you nafig with your debts, when the country’s demographic crisis.
– However, Sanya. Let’s hear it. I now as a candidate must listen to the electorate – poured vodka Dima.
– It is not the electorate, he will degenerate!
Yeah, fuck you! If you just about their ass I think, it does not mean that all are.
– And, I may as Asses are nothing left, because I like you around.
– Okay, everything! Let’s Cauldron talk, what is the law? – pulls my sleeve Dima, I want to argue with a fool.
– I propose to introduce rampant polygamy!
– It’s like? All in heap make a living? “I said We are in Moscow, and so on each other to live, the whole country in one city get laid.
– Idiot! We need legislation to approve that each man may have three wives at the same time.
And the caption Casanova! laughed shat
– Kazan, you are one woman can not really provide where you three? I asked
– Let the state helps subsidize…
– About as! So you’re going to fuck, and we plow to pay taxes. Heather beaver.
– I do not fault anyone that. Someone to increase the population and improve the gene pool, and someone to plow – with the superiority of said Cauldron.
– No, the shat signed another will, nor Casanova, and King smiled at me.
– I would be good the rules of the country – thought the Cauldron.
This is for sure, no one would work, just fucked. Northern Uganda would be. A crowd of poor children and headed Casanova with an outstretched hand.
– Not-e-e-e, the law is good, but it won’t be – he shook his head Dima.
– Why is this? asked the Cauldron.
– Because the country women significantly more than men, and they actively vote, rather the opposite will take place: one wife and three husbands. Yes the elections and some old ladies go.
– Come on Dim, write in his election campaign: Every unmarried lady, one such cauldron, will put a poultice of them in the store for yogurt to run – I smiled.
– Yeah, fuck you on the dick! Never order in this country – waved the Cauldron.
Dima, even though he was from a wealthy family, had never been seen in snobbery. It was simple and sympathetic, neither the example of his father, who considered all for shit, though, in principle, of shit and got out. Paradoxically, the greater the dermis of the person is chosen, the more he blows the roof. Maybe on the way up, through the thorns and problems, something inside the human breaks and only Bank account.
– And, in General, it’s the first time there will be, but it has its own hazing, my laws even probably will not consider.
– What are you going to do then? asked sat.
I do not know. To sit. I have to attend all sessions, to press a button for those who do not…
Socks they wash and cigarettes to run – I smiled.
Of course, you can laugh, but the structure of the state Duma, is built on the hierarchical ladder. At the top are very close, which form the laws, as directed above; then go to media personalities who spend days hanging around on the screens of the country; then the work horses who spend days in the sweat of scribbling replies to citizens. For example, reply to a message some of the women of Mani, which asks the village of Awakino to build a bridge. And at the end of the food chain are, just like Dima, who looks around, running errands, you press a button. Strict subordination to the top, the lack of own opinion, and following the course of the party and is key to the success of any Deputy. As the Russians say: less Pesci agree more, and you will have happiness and good fortune.
– Okay. And if so – I think the Cauldron Is to legally Compel all women to never refuse!
– Hey, raccoon lustful, what you to women fuck? You have enough women? – I smiled – be glad you don’t live in Israel.
– What is it?
For example, even if you are married, go to bed, and here everything is already included where necessary and then she said something I didn’t want. Obliged to take out and on the side, but otherwise it’s statutory rape. And maybe after that, just go and declare you a fool for rape drawn. Moreover, the Israeli court is based even not on the law, and ideas about this judge and his experience, it’s even in the laws written.
– Tin! – scared of the Cauldron.
– And then! What do you think they every morning, a FEZ on top and wear to the Wailing wall run, pray that wife is not stated.
– Barbaric country! – shivered, shat.
– Well, Russia then raised his glass Dima – we if where that went, fuck.
The night slowly fell on the village. Lights came on and the air is completely soaked in the coolness of the night. Here and there were heard barking and cries of locals and vacationers. The wind had dropped, so the smells from the grills were almost imperceptible, everything was covered, except for us, we have carefully plucked, and the soul demanded adventures.
– And, here, Dim, you tell me – I embraced it.
– Which character from your party?
– What symbol? A good character, we do all right.
– The fact that you are all well no doubt, we are all fucked up because you’re good. A symbol of what?
The bear whispered Cauldron.
– Don’t tell me! – I banged a fist on the table.
– Right! As you bear there?
– Here! And what you are member without the bear?
– Right! So what is it?
– What? Do not drink more?
“Oh, what are you all politicians are tight. Bear needs!
The bear all need a sigh of shat.
– Imagine coming to your house, your colleagues, and you’re not just a Deputy, and bear the Deputy. But!? Do you hear the difference? You will immediately increase, and will not button to press, and will be…
– What will?
– I don’t know, well, something going.
– All Sanya has a point, imagine you’re on a campaign poster with a bear, huh? – poured vodka sat.
– Dmitry Anatolyevich? – looked at him Dima.
– Who the fuck need your Mr… I’m Sorry Lord, where the Kremlin is, on what side to be baptized? – I looked around – a Real bear!
– M-m-m-m, Yes it would be cool!
– Oh! And you about what? I’m not Casanova, I’m talking to, and not pussy and Tits to offer.
– Only females need to take! – got into a conversation the Cauldron.
– Go away, you pervert, you will give you the whole forest fuck even protein. We’re something of national importance.
– So, and where to get it?
And, this is the right question. Forest do you have?
– Of course, we have everything.
– A bear is that?
The symbol of the party.
– Oh, fuck – I waved a glass – Bear is the forest, first and foremost. So what?
What? Forest to buy?
That’s how you to the MPs gathered, your logic is less than my Baba. In the woods to go bear! Just the night they hunt.
– Exactly! – he shook his finger shat – not a major must take, and it will break.
– Correctly. Females need to take – hiccupped Cauldron.
– Live bait will take. Him – I have shown on the cauldron.
– All collected! I’m ready – got up from the table, Dima.
– I can see that you are the Deputy and not the tail of the pig! The horses…
While we collected food, Dima disappeared into the house and came after 10 minutes in full gear and a gun:
– I’m ready! Went…
– Are you stupid? Gun why the fuck did you get that?
– Well, like a bear.
– You, stupid? You want to shoot not only the symbol of his party, but of the whole country? What have the major characters in the country?
The double – headed eagle, the flag, the Constitution – based on gun Dima.
– Do you Russian man? We have three inviolable character: balalaika, vodka and bear.
– A hat?
– That’s Right, The Shat! And ear flaps, but the bear and the hat can be combined, but I think always in a fur hat walks. So keep your gun, take a rope, a lasso catch him.
We left the station and wandered through the village in the direction of the alleged forest, or rather small groves, in which even the protein probably was not, but at that moment we didn’t think about it.
– Here, men, iberus, that would do anything for you – hugged Shata, Dima
– Stop making out, better to let the plan of operation to discuss. Cauldron bound to the tree, shat climbs a tree and sits there with a loop, and we are in the bushes, on opposite flanks we’re Dim. The bear comes, shat it touches the loop, and here we are with various wings swooped down.
– And then, Barbarossa, child’s play compared to my plan.
– I don’t wanna be tied! – protested the Cauldron.
– Shut up bait!
Sash, but how do I loop going to sit, if Kazan tie? asked sat.
– Yes, something I had not thought about it. You have to get another rope. In a decent house like you are, call the shat… we came to the fence and sat scored in the intercom.
– Good night – Hello shat
The world into the house – I whispered
The world into the house you… you Have ropes?
On the other end cleared his throat.
– In order to hang himself?
– No. Need to important things a small Hank. We will return.
– Go to bed! – boomed the man.
– You have not realized, we need to state needs! – I hiccupped.
– Fuck you, needs…
– How do you talk with representatives of the Supreme power!? You are obliged on demand to provide… – Dima stammered, What to provide? – he turned to me.
– The rope ” I said.
To provide power rope…
– I’m the fuck now not only the rope, but the soap will provide the goats.
Thank you a lot, wait, ” I said.
We moved away from the fence.
– Soap us why? asked sat.
– Well, how? To loop better delayed.
– Intelligent man lives there, rides probably where we are going.
A few minutes later the gate swung open, in shorts and a pump at the ready, got out man:
“Oh, you still here? Get out!
– Comrade, you have not understood correctly…
The man made a shot in air, after which we rushed to scatter Cauldron with Dima guy that even the wind through the village rose, we Shatoi ran across some ditches.
– Let me catch my breath… got up, sat.
– Ran, maybe that lunatic is chasing after us. That’s fuckin ‘ people went a bit of rope it is a pity!
Yeah, I quietly sat down on the grass sat.
You know what I think? Well, fuck that bear. On the cauldron earflaps fasten it for the bear and get away.
– And that is true.
– Went to the house, okay, and just stress of some kind.
– And these?
– Yeah well, they will come. The Deputy and the assistant does not get lost.
We came home, there is these two still don’t see to Moscow websale from fear, so we continued the feast without them, and peacefully fell asleep in the posture of a fucking dog.
– Sanya, Sanya, rise, rise come on…
– What is it? What time is it?
Seven in the morning…
– Shat you’ve shit I need some more sleep, I still C the synapses go.
Sash, they are not yet!
– Kazana and Dimka.
– Yes, and to hell with them.
– Come on, you never know what happened .
– Get up, stand up…- I got up from the couch
– On, drink – he handed me a glass of shat.
– Fuck, let the water better.
“So, this is water with some aspirin.
– Ah! – I drank.
We left the house and went in the direction where I was going yesterday. The village has not yet woken up, so people did not have to ask nobody, they saw two nerds or not.
Look raised Dimkinoy cap sat.
– Yes, quickly fled, already lost his cap. He runs well, if anything from the furious people will be able to get away, the Deputy Dicks – I yawned.
We walked the entire village, but nobody was there. Out of the village, and went on.
– Where are we going?
I don’t know! – shrugged his shoulders, sat.
– Oh, you called?
– Dimka beeps, and the cauldron not a subscriber.
– It is clear – I bent down and picked up the asphalt broken phone the cauldron.
– Maybe this guy order them?
– Nonsense, Pori, so that the direction I ran – I have shown in side buildings.
We walked on, yawning, and IIS from a hangover and cheerful in the morning. Before reaching the first house, we noticed a woman of advanced years, who rushed to the site, we came
– Good morning, you here…
Oh, how good! Boys, boys, help!
– What happened? – I asked.
– Yes, the horror! My husband went into town yesterday, there are no neighbors and the phone is dead as a sin, the police can’t call!
– What happened?
– There! showed it to the barn.
– What is it?
– Some men climbed night!
– I think I know what – I sighed – Can you come?
– Of course, of course, come in – she opened the gate.
Opening the barn we found a couple of empty bottles of vodka and sleeping Deputy and his assistant, in a small paddock grunting pig, to which these idiots threw a loop.
– Hey, get up. The plenary session will begin soon – I raised them.
– Oh! Guys! Where are you from here? – rubbed his eyes Dima.
Yeah so passed by. Get up, come on.
– What we are-then it ran, ran and then decided to wait, and since the package was vodka with me, down here…- threw up his hands Dima.
– Okay…- he sighed, sat.
In the pig, fuck the loop threw?
– Yes, Casanova said that it bait better than he is.
Lifting Casanova, under decussation women we left the station, and went towards the house.
– Fuck you stink – I pinched his nose.
– Smells of politics ” chuckled the shat – Politics is a dirty business…
Dima never was elected to the state Duma, but climbed to the regional Duma, none of the promises that he made, neither we nor others he certainly did not keep and stopped to chat with us. Over the years, I really understand that politics is dirty business, and any policy one way or another, stinks.